CJ de Mooi

Tony Nicklinson, Paul Lamb, Noel Martin and many others are fighting for the right to assisted suicide.
Under current UK law, anybody helping someone to die can be charged with manslaughter. Is this to be considered correct?

I’m not one for sitting on this fence so allow me to answer my own question. Of course it isn’t.

Firstly, I think the basic emotive terminology should be addressed. ‘Committing suicide’ has distinct overtones of criminality. Is suicide a crime in this country? If not, why is the antiquated term ‘commit’ still associated with it?

Secondly, a considerable majority of the public support, with sufficient safeguards, an individual’s right to die. In a supposedly democratic system, why are paid public servants permitted to disregard that?

Take this hypothetical situation. A person you love has deteriorated in health over many years and spends each day in considerable pain. He or she willingly communicates a secure desire to die to end intolerable physical or mental anguish.

Now imagine he or she underwent all that but was incapable of offering any guarantees. You were fully aware of the incessant pain before you but couldn’t present a document detailing a request to end the life.

Finally, what if something happened in an instant? The person you are closest to is terribly injured in an accident. He or she is in terrible agony and is screaming and crying for you to help. There is no long term hope of reprise and no assistance is on the way.

If any of the above happened to you, would you be wiling to reach out your hands and kill that person? Whether by an injection, smothering, breaking the neck or even strangulation? Could you bear to feel the pulse of your love fading through, and by, your own fingers?

You could spend the rest of your life in prison branded an evil and heartless murderer, demonised by your friends, family and the public. Could you do it?

For me, unequivocally and unhesitatingly, yes.

If I knew that was what was wanted, I wouldn’t hesitate for a moment. For some people, the loss of a partner means the end of a meaningful life anyway but this is not the case for all. If someone I cared about was in horrible pain, I would do whatever was necessary without consideration of the consequences. The current law doesn’t take human compassion into account.

In recent cases though, judges have ruled in favour of the accused parties with prosecutors offering no contest. However, the rise of common sense still doesn’t negate the existence of the laws.

Arguments against the right to die always tend to use the more explosive term of ‘assisted suicide’. I don’t know if this is a reflection on the strength of feeling or an attempt at propaganda but it does seem strange. Concerns on specific guarantees, suspicions about relatives and religious ideals are all brought to the fore.

Guarantees can usually be provided. Unless a person is brain dead (in which case in the UK, life is ended anyway) some communication is usually possible. Oh dear, but the person didn’t actually sign the paper? Well, that soldier who had his hands blown off in Iraq can’t claim benefits for the same reason.

Suggesting that relatives might be in it for personal or financial gain, or just to relieve themselves of a burden (whether the person in question believes him or herself to be one) can be of course be genuine. Again, the safeguards are important here but surely some degree of trust must be applied.

Now we deal with religious concerns. Don’t be so bloody silly. Now we’ve dealt with religious concerns.

External ‘moralistic’ debates are all very well and good but to me if boils down to one aspect. If you’re not directly and personally involved in the situation, it’s not your business. If I was in Paul Lamb’s position now, I’d conduct myself with far less politeness than he has. It’s my life, not yours, so butt out! How dare you presume to tell me, my loved ones and my doctors (again, the majority support the practice and a change in the law) how my suffering should end.

I would kill, murder if you wish, anyone I loved who wanted me to. Taking it a stage further, could I do it to a total stranger in the same position? This really only applies to the third situation above where pain is caused by an instant but my answer stays the same. Yes I would.

I know a lot of people view me as a wishy washy liberal and a liberal I certainly am. There is nothing mind you that’s wishy washy about my convictions and if there’s something I can do to stop terrible human suffering, I will, even at the possible cost to myself.

A final hypothetical for you then. Your loved one is in extreme agony having been partly crushed by a falling building. He or she is screaming uncontrollably and the only way you can stop the pain is to press a trigger which will bring the rest of the rubble crashing down fatally onto both of you. Whether you can see or touch each other is irrelevant but could you actually do it? End your own life to kill another and end the pain? There may be no further consequences to face but could you take this step nevertheless? I think you know my answer.

Just because we are alive does not mean we are living. Human dignity and quality of existence are essential. We don’t choose when we are born but we should be allowed choose when we die.

As people we care for each other. Remember, it’s called human kind.

I’ve volunteered within the HIV sector for over half my life. I started when I was sleeping rough in Amsterdam as even though I had nowhere to live, other people were in far worse situations.

We’re all human. We all have natural desires and are therefore susceptible to the consequences.

HIV and AIDS are just diseases like any other. There should be no stigma, embarrassment or shame attached to either. If this was cancer, such a discussion would be unnecessary. It saddens me deeply that we seem incapable of getting past this.

AIDS is not a ‘gay plague’. AIDS is no longer a death sentence. It is an illness that weakens the body’s immune system to such a degree that other conditions can become fatal. That is all.

I’ve had friends and strangers alike die in my arms because they either had no-one else or, more tragically, those they had refused to be there.

How can you bear to let someone you know or care about just wither and die all alone and terrified? I just can’t understand that level of heartlessness.

I’m currently working on securing a pair of Harvey Fierstein plays about AIDS to perform in the west end. These are stories that desperately need to be told as even living in the rarified liberal and inclusive world of theatre, there’s still exists a lack of comprehension. Knowledge is power so the more such topics are brought into the public domain, the more open discussion we can have to dispel fear and ignorance.

I donate a percentage of all my earnings to HIV charities and am patron of two such organisations. My current run of Geek is supporting MAD Trust and I’m hoping to tie in the Fierstein plays with them and World AIDS Day. If you want to shun or attack me because you’re disgusted or think it’s all self inflicted and deserved, do so. It will never stop me.

However these efforts are insignificant and so many people do so much more. They work every day to care for and help people infected and affected by HIV.

The friends and relatives of those living with the disease (thanks to advances in retroviral drugs, they’re no longer dying with the disease) can be placed in terrible positions too. They can often be confused, unsure how to react and at a complete loss of what responses are appropriate.

I have known a lot of people, gay, straight, male and female who have died as a direct result of their HIV status. Should their deaths count for nothing simply because their family or friends are a little embarrassed, usually about themselves or others’ reactions to them? I think most people know I couldn’t care less what anyone thinks about me! I will spend the rest of my life working closely with HIV patients and consider it an honour if any accept me as the last person they see before they pass away.

I’ve shed many tears and will shed many more over the loss of life but I truly believe this disease can be conquered in my lifetime. Even if a vaccine is found, a cure will be many years away so all those who spend their lives saving and comforting others need to be supported and applauded.

I’m happy to be completely forgotten by everyone except the very few who love me. This is the area I’ve chosen to immerse myself in and if just one or two of the people I meet remember me fondly, that’s everything I could ever want.

I can’t imagine many things worse than dying alone, ignored and scared. I’ll be damned before I let that happen to anyone just because they have AIDS.

My book is now available for Kindle!

Please see

http://www.demooi.co.uk/book.html

for all details including the direct link, an article on why I wrote the book and, most importantly, which charity I’m supporting.

If you don’t have a Kindle, don’t worry as there’s a free app which allows you to read Kindle books on smartphones, PCs, Macs and tablets.

Thank you, CJ x

6 years ago 20 year old Sophie Lancaster was brutally murdered because she was a goth.

Please read that again.

For no other reason than she was a goth. She was walking with her boyfriend when they were both attacked with provocation by a group who didn’t like the way they were dressed.

I’ve worn a wristband in TV to support the work of her mother Sylvia. She’s tirelessly campaigned to persuade Manchester police to classify all such assaults as hate crimes. Her devoted work has finally borne fruit.

However, a lot of people are critical of this, wondering where it will stop. Black, Muslim and gay people are currently covered by hate crime laws but is this a ridiculous step too far?

If you’re reading this, you’ll know I’m not remotely right wing so I take issue with Colin Freeman of The Telegraph. He writes “Goths and punks can always change the way they look. You can’t do that with the colour of your skin.”

Sometimes it’s just too easy to dissect someone’s prejudices but the lack of a challenge won’t stop me trying.

Well, you can actually change the colour of your skin. Yes goths can indeed change the way they look. A Muslim can go to church or worship The Flying Spaghetti Monster. People can have gender realignment. I’m gay and I can choose to have sex with women. So problem solved yes?

In theory, the extension of hate crime is a good thing but I accept there are limitations. How does one define the unfortunate, but not unexpected, violence at Wembley yesterday? General abuse or ridicule for the way someone speaks, dresses, how fat they are or what they do for a job… all could be included in ever narrowing sub divisions.

There are 2 options as far as I can see. Firstly, adopt a regulated Communist style regime of grey boiler suits where everyone is completely equal and nothing changes from one moment to the next. Historically, such ideas always work out so well don’t they?

Secondly, stop being so bloody judgemental and accept people for who they are. I couldn’t care less what you do, who you love, how you dress, where you live, how you look, how your body works or anything else frankly. If you live your life without causing detriment, it’s none of my damn business so do whatever you want!

Sophie Lancaster died horribly when she was barely out of her teens. Her incredible mother was determined her brief life should stand for something and I support that effort without reservation.

I also back anything that introduces measures to provide justice against any sort of hate crime. Despise who you want in your own head, that’s your right. It is definitely not your right to act upon it, even if that’s in your own home with people who either disagree with you, or even worse, to young to form their own opinions.

The UK is a remarkably inclusive society but sexism, racism, homophobia, religious intolerance and just plain bigotry still exist and always will do.

Hatred is a terribly destructive force for both parties. I won’t live my life that way and don’t want to be involved with anyone who does.

I applaud Manchester police and Sylvia Lancaster for their work. I’ve been violently attacked by strangers because of my sexuality, colleagues because of my speech and my own parents just because they wanted to.

I will never understand violence as a way to begin anything. It is only right that any hate crime is reported and acted upon. No doubt there are still individuals within the police service who wouldn’t take such reports seriously and may even support such vicious acts. Fortunately these people are becoming fewer in number and more marginalised.

I can only hope this is reflected in the population as a whole.

One of my earliest memories is me aged 3 watching Eddie Charlton play snooker on television.

Amazingly enough, this didn’t put me off the game and although I don’t (can’t) play, I absolutely adore watching it.

The game has a fascinating history and if you want to learn about it, I can’t do any better than recommend you read Black Farce and Cue Ball Wizards by the wonderful Clive Everton.

I’m going to start controversially will two people I never knew. Now, many people who’ve never met me, and indeed a few who have, utterly hate me. Fair enough, I couldn’t care less. There was a player and a commentator I couldn’t begin to like personally from what I saw in the media. I don’t dispute the personal reality may have been different, at least about the first, so this is just my own position.

The commentator Ted Lowe always seemed very strange to me. I don’t know what his prowess as a player was but he gave a classic example of how snooker was always an easy game when it wasn’t actually you at the table. I also accept it was the era in which he worked, but it always seemed very impersonal for someone who clearly was a snooker insider to insist on calling all the players by surname only. I found this offputting.

I remember one instance on Jim’ll Fix It when it was a young chap’s wish to commentate on a snooker match. He was given the famous shot by Silvino Francisco (I think - please correct me if I’m wrong) where the ball bounced out of the pocket, rolled along the top of the cushion and fell in another. The man gave it a good description and Ted was very dismissive, even condescending saying it wasn’t very good as everyone could see what had happened. 

I thought that disingenuous and rather unprofessional. I really couldn’t get on with him at all and would often rather a watch a match with the sound off rather than listen to him. Nevertheless, I maintain I didn’t know Mr Lowe and he could have been the sweetest man in private.

The other person whose life is fairly well documented was Alex Higgins. Let me say straight out he was a genius and did more in his era than anyone else to maintain and expand the popularity of snooker.

His parallel is Bobby Fischer in chess. Both fought for better conditions, both took on the establishment and won, both demanded and got higher prize money and both became world champion in 1972!

Both however quite sadly were self destructive, abusive and mentally unstable. Both died terribly prematurely robbing the world of the outstanding players of their generations.

However, quite similar to Ronnie O’Sullivan now, Alex was disrespectful of players and officials and rather too fast to open his mouth. I’ve met Ronnie on several occasions and he is, in my opinion, by far the greatest natural talent the game has ever seen. It also sound bizarre but it’s especially relevant to Higgins too, his talent was rather wasted. Ronnie certainly should have won more than 4 world titles and Higgins far more than 2.

It shouldn’t matter what problems you have off the table. In a professional arena with paying customers, acting politely and properly is the only acceptable norm. 

We all know the stories of Higgins’ relationship with other players, particularly Dennis Taylor. The 1985 world champion is one of the nicest and unerringly polite people I’ve ever met and the manner in which he conducted himself in public with all the furore around Higgins and his threats was exemplary. It’s testament to the man he was able to do so but such a shame he had to. 

Alex’s behaviour on this and many other occasions was despicable and it was his aura or faded respect of others that allowed him to continue. He was handled with kid gloves wherever he went and this naturally led to an isolated and artificial environment where he thought he could get away with anything. I find it tragic that some people in such a situation find it increasingly difficult to differentiate between the acceptable and the abhorrent. 

Still, when Alex Higgins died in 2010, I mourned too. It was tragic to see what had become of him. However, I, along with millions of fans, am so grateful that the Snooker Legends tour was set up to enable us to see a true great just once more.

The green baize has always been the dominion of men. I’ve discussed at length in my upcoming book the subject of women players. Snooker along with darts and chess is a relatively sedentary game so there is no physical reason why they can’t compete on the same level as men. The fact remains that they can’t. I believe this is down to spatial awareness and pattern recognition which men are naturally better at. Women tend to excel in creativity and intelligence.

Mind you, multiple women’s world champion Alison Fisher went off to the States and became a very successful pool player so I’m not sure if this supports or explodes my theory of spatial awareness!

There is one aspect of the game where women now perform at a fully equal level and that’s refereeing. The amazing work of Michaela Tabb, who has taken charge of 2 world championship finals, has paved the way and now Zhu Ying is advancing rapidly. I hope this is only the start and many more will follow.

There are countless players I admire, am in awe of, fancy and am friendly with. There were great pioneers such as Joe Davis of course but in modern era, Ray Reardon (6 world titles in the 1970s) Steve Davis (6 world titles in the 1980s) and Stephen Hendry (7 world titles in the 19902) must stand out. Hendry for me is the greatest player of all time and a domineering force in the history of the game like Tiger Woods in golf or Sergey Bubka in the pole vault. I’ve met Stephen a few times and can only mumble a few words to him as I’m always utterly starstruck. I have a photo if us together and it’s a prized possession.

Current players like Stuart Bingham I think are fantastic. He’s a classic example of a decent player who just travelled all over the world plying his trade and then suddenly hit form. Snooker is a mental game (we’ve seen every player knock in impossible shots casually once a frame is dead) and the confidence Stuart got from his first ranking win is testament to that.

Obviously I’m fairly close to Shaun Murphy, as evidenced by us appearing on Pointless Celebrities together winning money for the Paul Hunter Foundation. I have to admit I wasn’t a fan of his when he burst onto the scene. This changed once I got to know him and now count myself as very fortunate to have such a lovely man amongst my friends.

Graeme Dott is lovely too and I think the most underrated player ever. A strange thing to say about someone who reached the world final 3 times, winning once but he’s rather the forgotten man.

Jamie Jones is a great up and coming player who I think is destined to become the Welsh number one. I live in Wales so do admit to a bit of home bias here though!

I’m intrigued to see if Judd Trump can live up to his potential and whether he or Mark Selby will lift the world crown both surely deserve.

Of all the benefits my professional life has given me, the time I’ve spent with snooker is probably the one I’ve enjoyed the most. I don’t understand football, rugby or basketball but my time close to the green baize has shown me about sporting idol worship.

I’m grateful to know so many payers, officials and commentators (especially those I destroyed a few years ago in the special Snooker Eggheads I recorded!) and I look forward to watching it for many years to come.

I hate to finish like this, but I am indeed snooker loopy.